Top 10 of 2009

1. Inglourious Basterds - A
2. Up - A
3. Watchmen - A
4. Observe And Report - A-
5. (500) Days Of Summer - A-
6. Capitalism: A Love Story - A-
7. Public Enemies - A-
8. Bruno - A-
9. The Hangover - A-
10. Funny People - B+


Honorable Mentions:

District 9
Sunshine Cleaning
A Serious Man
My Bloody Valentine 3D
Crank: High Voltage


Film seen: 117

Brüno

Brüno





Cohen attacks what’s wrong with America… And he does it with fashion.

From Ali G to Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen tackles a new character, but this time he’s holding nothing back. Cohen makes a living off of offending people, it’s his day job. Perhaps he has such a diehard fan base because he’s so good at it. In 2006, he played Borat, a foreigner from Kazakhstan who travels to the United States. We follow him as he learns the American culture; it’s hailed by many as one of the funniest films ever, probably because it actually is. Comedy is comedy, but when comedy is reality, the realism only adds to the affect. However, Borat was so 2006.





Now it’s time for Brüno, a flamboyant Austrian fashionista. After becoming blacklisted in his home country, Brüno heads to the United States with high hopes of becoming a celebrity. From there on out it’s nothing but utter randomness. The film is a device that exposes the ridiculous amounts of homophobia in the United States today. Brüno finds these people and puts them in situations that they can’t help but show their true colors. It’s also probably one of the most offensive films of all time, but if you happened to be offended by it, then I feel sorry for you. As if we didn’t already know, we get a glimpse at just a small sample of the hate and prejudice there is against gays and lesbians in our modern society. The film embarrasses these hateful people, and that’s just one of the things that makes it so great. We, as a nation need to break apart from this prejudice. Half a century ago it was the issue of race that took a giant step in ending discrimination, now it’s sexual orientation. While Brüno’s character may be a bit over the top, the hate displayed against him was still embarrassing. The movie is part documentary and part comedy, or you could just refer to it as a mockumentary. Either way there’s no films like Cohen’s films, whether it be his offensive characters, or his unique style of comedy.





Brüno tries his best to offend everyone. From Paula Abdul, to 2008 Presidential election candidate Ron Paul (R), to straight men camping, to straight men at a swingers party, to studio executives, to an arena filled with rednecks, to a homophobic karate instructor, to hateful religious protesters, to Christian “gay converters”, to Harrison Ford, and everything in between. I laughed throughout the entire movie; with non-stop uproarious gags, it’s nearly impossible not to. Not only is the film extremely funny, it’s also something Cohen should be proud of that he made. We needed a film to do what Cohen did, it didn’t have to be a tenth as funny as Brüno, but the fact that Cohen could add so much humor into it made it even more special. I also think that in addition to praising the fantastic filmmaking, I need to congratulate Sacha Baron Cohen on his acting. Very few people could do what he did in the movie, all the while never breaking character. He hasn’t gotten any attention at all for this, and he definitely deserves it. Borat may have been the more creative character, but I feel as if I enjoyed watching Brüno more. They both had equally funny personalities with equally funny lines, but for some reason Brüno just feels more entertaining. But regardless, if you liked Borat, you might like Brüno. If you loved Borat, you’ll probably like Brüno. If you hated Borat, and were offended by it… Just wait till you see Brüno.





One of the twenty greatest comedies ever, and certainly one of the best pictures of the year. Brüno is a landmark achievement, not only for its comedy but for what the film accomplishes politically.


GRADE: A-

Updated Top 10 of 2009

The year has already passed the half way checkpoint. I've seen a lot of films but few have been very impressive so far, this is usually the case with every year until Fall roles around. I've come across several works of art but far too many cliche', tediously bad films. However, here's my updated top 10 list:



1. Up - A
2. Watchmen - A
3. Public Enemies - A-
4. Observe And Report - A-
5. The Hangover - A-
6. Knowing - A-
7. Star Trek - A-
8. Sunshine Cleaning - B+
9. Angels & Demons - B+
10. My Bloody Valentine 3D - B+


Runner-Up: Crank: High Voltage - B+


Movies Seen: 58

Is common sense too much to ask of a film?

I had a blast watching Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen in theaters but I couldn't help but notice how a lot of things in the film made no sense at all. Five days later I was back in the cinema, I received my share of entertainment once more but again, the problems were too hard to ignore. I noticed many flaws in my first viewing, but even more in the second...


Problems I had in the first viewing:


Megan Fox's pants. There's an explosion and she comes flying out of the dust and then lands on an unstable surface and falls through that to the dusty ground. A few seconds later she is seen running with perfectly, perfectly clean pants. The next shot of her shows her pants somewhat dirty though.

When the Decepticons go down to revive Megatron, there are five of them. That guy [whoever he was] said there was five. Then, when they get to the bottom of the ocean they destroy one of the Decepticons for spare parts. So when Megatron arises with the remaining four, the same guy who originally said there was five, now says there's six. Well wait a minute now, I'm going to do a little bit of math and I hope I don't confuse anyone. If I have five Transformers, then subtract one, then add another one.... Doesn't that mean I still have five Transformers? Help me out a little bit if my math is fuzzy...


If The Fallen is a Prime, and he can only be killed by another Prime, then wouldn't the same rule apply for Optimus Prime? If so, then how was Megatron able to kill him?


When Megan Fox walks in on Shia supposedly cheating on her, I couldn't help but wonder, how did she get there? She was talking to him on the phone as he was running through the campus, obviously going back up to his room. She said she'd get on a plane and be there later in the afternoon. So Shia gets back to his room, and two minutes later, surprise surprise Mikaela [Fox] is there. So in about two or three minutes Megan Fox used her super-powers to fly there.


Ok, that entire action sequence in the beginning, come on now. That was seen by thousands of people and there were obviously many casualties along with hundreds of millions of dollars in damage. Yet this was somehow still kept underwraps? Hmm.....Doubtful.


I'm sure you all remember that Decepticon who pretended to be a chick and hit on Shia. In the beginning of the film, Ironhide said he could smell the Decepticon. If that's true, then why the hell didn't Bumblebee recognize her when she was literally sitting inside of him? Riiiiight. I'm sure Bay just wanted to keep the suspense going until it's revealed that she's an alien, only for the audience to be SHOCKED, utterly utterly SHOCKED because it wasn't that obvious from the start that she wasn't human.


When those creatures go inside Shia's head to examine his brain, all that green, goo-like substance came out of his mouth. But a few seconds later he was babbling on [again] and all the stuff was gone. What did it vaporize in 4 seconds? Magic I tell ya.


I couldn't help but wonder...Why do all these robots speak English? Optimus Prime said they learned the English language through radio signals in Transformers. So two things... 1. Why do they speak to each other in English, instead of their native tongue and 2., which is beyond laughable, how does "The Fallen" know how to speak English? In Revenge Of The Fallen he stated that he had never heard of Earth, so if he doesn't even know about this planet yet then how the hell does he know how to speak the main language there? Man if only the writers of Schindler's List, The Shawshank Redemption, and Citizen Kane were this bright, huh Hunter?


This was possibly the most hideous thing I've ever seen, Shia injuring his hand. Now we all knew that at some point in the film he was going to injure his hand, but I never could have imagined that Bay would do such a bad job at bringing that into the story. So Shia crash lands in the desert. He doesn't appear to be injured at all, he even gets up and starts running. A few seconds later Megan Fox had somehow pulled a first aid kit out of her rear and bandaged Shia's severely wounded hand. That scene transcended awfulness.


Now, additional problems I noticed on my second viewing: [This time in IMAX]



When they go to the Smithsonian space museum, they have their little conversation with a senior citizen Decepticon, only to go out to the back of the museum and wah-la, they're in a completely new place. The front of the museum shows the area to be urban, but when they exit the museum, they've suddenly jumped to a completely new state that makes them look like they're on a farm.


Megatron is revived by the stolen piece of the "All Spark". There are only two pieces of it remaining, the one mentioned above and the piece that Shia found in his self proclaimed "Superbowl jersey". Now, if the piece of the All Spark from B-14 can bring Megatron back to life, then why can't Shia's piece bring Optimus Prime back to life? He goes on this ridiculous journey to find "The Matrix of leadership" that could do the same damn thing as the little sliver of scrap metal in Megan Fox's purse.


Now you can call me a hater, or a flat out cynic but I dare anyone to read the post above and tell me they grade this film an A. If common sense is too much to ask of a film, then I'll gladly be the cynic in this situation. Everyone I've talked to says they just go to the film to see an action film, to watch the explosions, see the giant alien robots fighting, to watch Megan Fox run in slow-motion. However I'm sorry but that's not me. When I see a film I don't just pay attention, I analyze it to the best of my ability from every aspect of film that I can. I don't hand out A's or even B's to films like this, I'm not your average dumb moviegoer who eats up anything big budget Hollywood spits out. Will I fail the film? No, because it fulfilled it's job at being immensely entertaining. But can I possibly give it a good grade when I can see through the film for what it really is, a mindless [literally] explosion fest? The answer to that question should be, and always will be, a resounding NO.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen


Michael Bay finally outdoes himself with his latest big budget sci-fi action spectacle.


In 2007, the dreams of many fanboys came true with the franchise starter “Transformers”. Not only was it a break through at the Box Office, but it was a thrilling start to the Transformers series. Two years later, perhaps Hollywood’s most notorious filmmaker Michael Bay is back. But this time he brought along a bigger budget, better effects, and a hell of a lot more Transformers.

After defending mankind against the Decepticons - Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Ironhide, and other Autobots have made Earth their new home. They search the continents for any remaining Decepticons. The quest for the thought-to-be gone “All Spark” is still on, but an even bigger puzzle is to be solved later on in the story due to the involvement of another alien object – “The Matrix”. The Transformers’ origins’ surface is touched, but as expected we never get into much detail. The plot is straightforward, the action loud and obnoxious, and the characters are nothing but pawns in Michael Bay’s special effects chess match.







Revenge Of The Fallen is an energetic sequel that’s basically a rehash of it’s predecessor. In Transformers, the story [and ending] was laid out for the audience in a dumbed-down narrative form; “Revenge” is no exception. Transformers spent a nominal amount of time introducing us to its characters and their simplified motives, leading to a constant action rampage. However Revenge Of The Fallen replaces the introduction to its bland characters with an excessive amount of giant robots fighting, explosions, giant robots fighting, female eye candy, and even more giant robots fighting. Simply said, it’s Transformers on steroids.

If you’re looking for a summer blockbuster to eat popcorn at and see with your friends that contains one dimensional [at best] characters, cheesy dialogue, unnecessary humor, and immensely advanced special effects, then this is the most obvious of choices in cinemas currently. But if you’re looking for high art with complex characters, elaborate plotlines, a clever script and emotionality, then take a trip down to the arthouse because this isn’t something you’d be proud of spending 10 bucks on. However in Michael Bay’s defense, and this is the only reason why the film works at all, is that it doesn’t strive for quality. The entire film’s sole purpose in being is to entertain, to be epic in scope, and to make tons of money. By those standards the film passes on all accounts. There are two kinds of popcorn movies, those who take themselves seriously, and those that don’t. Revenge Of The Fallen didn’t take itself seriously, while other films like Terminator Salvation failed because it took itself incredibly seriously, meanwhile forgetting to be not only a quality film but even an entertaining one. Grab a bucket of popcorn, sit in front of an IMAX screen, and you’re basically guaranteed a good time.






Perhaps what America needs is a good time at the theater. “Paul Blart: Mall Cop” shouldn’t have been appealing to anyone over the age of 10, but it became a massive hit. Audiences are looking for a film to escape to, one that’s funny, filled with action – A mindless action movie for a mindless good time. Michael Bay delivers just that. Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is the cheesiest film, the most action packed film, and the most entertaining film all rolled up into one. It’s quite obvious that the film isn’t the best movie of the year, but without question it’s THE event film of the year. Previous years’ event films include The Dark Knight [2008], Spider-Man 3 and Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End [2007], Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest [2006], and Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge Of The Sith [2005]. While Revenge Of The Fallen isn’t nearly as good as any of those movies, it’s still 2009’s event film, and is something every person who frequents the cinema needs to at least check out. You may not laugh at the humor, you may roll your eyes at the attempts, you might even check your IQ after the show to see if it has changed. In all honesty the film really is that stupid. But above all you’re guaranteed a fun time. The film is a blast [literally and figuratively] all the way through.


GRADE: C

Top 10 Of 2009

At the end of every month I will re-post my Top 10 of the year to note any changes, if any at all. So far this is my Top 10 for the first 5 months of the year:


1. Up - A
2. Watchmen - A
3. Observe And Report - A-
4. Knowing - A-
5. Star Trek - A-
6. Sunshine Cleaning - B+
7. Angels & Demons - B+
8. My Bloody Valentine 3D - B+
9. Crank: High Voltage - B+
10. Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian - B+

Runner-Up: Fanboys - B+

Movies Seen: 46

Angels & Demons

Angels & Demons

Angels & Demons is devishly entertaining

Ron Howard returns to the thriller genre once again after his critically acclaimed, Best Picture nominated film “Frost/Nixon” last year. Howard also directed the controversial “The Da Vinci Code”, which debuted in 2006 to much criticism. It wasn’t as bad as the critics say, but definitely had pacing problems among other minor things. Ron Howard along with Tom Hanks returned to make The Da Vinci Code’s prequel, “Angels & Demons”. The majority of faults in The Da Vinci Code were fixed-The characters weren’t as stiff, the film flowed through perfectly, lacking a single dull moment. Not to mention the plot isn’t just good, it’s actually very important.

In the 1500’s during the scientific revolution, the church condemned scientists’ for their ideas about Earth’s true origin, how the world we live in works, science, logic, and common sense. This isn’t fiction, it’s true. The fiction from the film is the substance known as “anti-matter”. In the film anti-matter is created by scientists and is believed to be the same material responsible for Earth’s existence. The Illuminati, a group of rebellious scientists from centuries ago appears again, seeking revenge against the Catholic church for their blind ignorance hundreds of years ago. They steal the anti-matter and abduct 4 catholic priests. Symbologist Robert Langdon [ Hanks ] is asked to help find the priests before they are killed and find the Illuminati before they use the anti-matter to destroy Rome. It’s extremely informational, entertaining, and full of suspense. Ron Howard brings the incredible plot adapted from Dan Brown’s novel to life.






It’s an alternative choice for moviegoers who aren’t looking for special-effects filled action films, animated movies, comedies, or horror flicks. It’s a suspense thriller that contains enough thrills to last for twice its 138 minute duration, but at the same time it gives a very important history lesson. Possibly Ron Howard’s best since “A Beautiful Mind” in 2001. Hans Zimmer, possibly the greatest composer of all-time delivers again with a chilling and menacing score. The cinematography is also terrific, and is near perfection. What I liked most is the film’s stance on science trumping religion. If you feel the film will offend you, you have nothing to worry about. As far as religion and God are concerned, Angels & Demons takes a passive route and doesn’t [directly] say that God does not exist. Skipping this movie because of moral values serves no purpose, as it shouldn’t offend anyone. However there are some gruesome images and killings, such as a man being burned alive. So if you have a weak stomach you may want to wait for the DVD.







Angels & Demons is unique and original. Simply a one of a kind film. It’s about as entertaining as Star Trek, if not even more. Easily better than The Da Vinci Code and most other thrillers in recent years.


GRADE: B+